Hectorium Infinium

Wow, I actually got around to finishing this chapter! What a letdown that it’s not the last one anymore…

IT’S ALL LED TO THIS. In the stunningly mediocre novel by critically unacclaimed author Greyson Smith, Hector the ex-drug-dealer faces his past in a wildly inventive, slightly illogical final battle that will literally leave your lower jaw hanging four feet below your skull in record-breaking levels of shock and awe at the train wreck- er, masterpiece that is HECTORIUM INFINIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I know I took almost five months to get this chapter done, but… well, this time it’s real: Hector and his pals are REALLY nearing the end of this book. Prepare for hijinks!

Hector and his friends set out to take down Flores and his henchmen. The climax of the novel approaches…

“A theologian, a judge, a business owner, and an tzulik walk into a bar.”
Thus begins a very bad joke, and a very good chapter of HECTORIUM INFINIUM!

Flores and his dastardly crew have suffered a defeat at the hands of their enemies- but the loss is minor, and they aren’t out of the game yet. Tension rises, secrets unfold, and the stunning conclusion approaches at approximately 3 miles per hour!

Hector and his friends from the Divine Celestial Monarchy have a plan to take down Flores. But they’re going to need more than a special snake. So Goonda turns to his specialty: Large, boring manuscripts. (Well, and a few other things.)

Journey with Hector as he contemplates existence, remembers an unfortunate episode with a hamster (left intentionally vague), and displays his incredible lack of knowledge about history. Oh, and he almost gets shot.

Three days after his first visit to Goonda, Hector’s mind is racing with the possibilities of the fern’s true power. But he might not be the only one after the infinity fern’s secrets.

Exactly what it sounds like in the title. In this installment, we take a glimpse into the minds of three men- a careful man, a strange man, and a cruel man. Sounds interesting, right?

Along with Kyle, charismatic Grand Shaman of the Divine Celestial Monarchy, Hector ventures deep into the woods to meet a mysterious Mayan. What he finds out changes everything…

Kyl- ahem, Yogwo- and Hector discuss important things, including but not limited to “how to stop a ruthless, depraved, and very fat man from taking over the world.” Yogwo has a good idea- which doesn’t happen very often, so that alone should make you want to read this.

Yeah, you read that title correctly. This is where the story starts to get really good- and really weird. Prepare yourself.

Do you enjoy riding in a car that feels more like an oven? Do you enjoy being shot at by identical twins in a Ferrari? Do you enjoy being mugged by said twins? Probably not. Read this chapter anyways!

Ah, yes, herein we find the adventures of an unkillable but slightly naive ex-drug-dealer as he attempts to earn the status of “illegal immigrant.”

What’s it like to navigate through a crime-ridden border town? Do the benefits of a pet dog ever justify its disadvantages? Is that guy REALLY pointing a gun at me? All these questions and more are answered in this, the next stage of Hector’s journey!

In this chapter of the thrilling Hectorium Infinium, we see Hector walking for a while and then riding in a car for a while.
It’s actually way more interesting than it sounds, though.

Chapter 16- in which a lonely young hiker finds companionship in a second-rate canine who’s really just sticking around for the food.

Hector channels his inner monkey and evades his hunters in the mountain forests of Mexico.

Hector, on the run from Flores and his evil cohorts, ventures through the picturesque Sierra Madres. But the rugged beauty of the mountains hides danger behind every turn.